queenspida

Yo....
hey you guys, you might not even read dis due to da fact dat i dont update ma journal no more but its aiigh. My summa was aiight, I moved in wit ma man for da whole summa which was madd nice. I love him 2 death. We've been 2 getha for 6 months now and im lovin every minute and every day of it. I also got kicked out of monty tech and now i go to FHS. It sux but hey im just tryin to finish skool na mean. Oh and i might be expectin a lil one im not sure but ill keep u guys posted. I have an appointment 2 fridays from now so we'll see how dat goes. My mom has only beat me twice dis summa which is good. Da only thing dat keeps me motavated and happy is ma man.

Hey jess. i have been tryin to call u all summa and u have neva been home. i called u earlier today and ur dad told me u were at work. So i unno u should gimme a call. I hope u havent 4 got bout me. I just want u to kno dat ive been hopin da best for you and dat i miss u alot. So i guess ill be updatin more keep readin ma shyt! lol. But chea much luv and im out. muahz. uno.

Current Mood: content

i dunno whea to start. i found out friday one of ma best friends, Cesar got hit by a car and hes gettin worse. He's not doin so good. Dats been havin me stressin all day. And on top of dat...ma man broke up w/ me. i dont even kno y but all i kno its dat it hurt really bad and i cant stop cryin. At least ma gurl friend is still hea to cheer me up but it aint workin to good. well im pretty upset right now. lata guys

wun

Current Mood: crushed,devistated,&confused

yo wat da dealy and poppin. Me and my family got into a huge fight last night. It sucked ass. my 245 lbs uncle beat the shit outta me just cause i told him to leave me alone cause i wanted to talk to my mom. aint that some shit. but dat was after the whole fight i got into with my man. which sucked. Heres how it went....i went to his house yesterday after school. and me and him were all luvy dubby. den ma best friend ended up comin ova so we could blaze. Then alla da sudden that nigga started actin a fool and started comin out his neck talkin shit, bein madd rude, and when i went to give him a kiss he turned his face. Then he asked me wat was wrong cause i looked pissed(who wouldn't be). So i told him that he needs to stop actin like a lil nigga and he needs to start actin like ma man. And he got so pissed. I was like "dont ask me to be honest wit chu and den get heated" he was ignorin me so i told him i was leavin. He kicked me out da house and when i asked him if he was gonna call me he stayed shut and told me bye.

and dat was dat

Current Mood: crappy

First of all lemme find out who called me a bitch. Imma rip thea face off and hang it up in my locker aiight. Two Justin i dont talk to you so wateva i said in ma last entry wasnt towards you so u chill out. Im talkin about all of my so called friends who gimme bullshit. Or have become assholes through da past couple of days. But I just think its funny how some pussy ass motha fuka has da balls to comment in ma shit and call me a bitch(which they must not kno me very well)but they have to comment Anonymous. Pussy bitches these days. Dont fukin update in ma journal if u gonna be a pussy. Lemme kno who u are.

Current Mood: bout 2 fuk sum1 up

wats da dealy and poppin? Well i cant wait till thursday cause imma be hangin out wit Jeremy and then imma go to My one and only girl friend, Brendas house and blaze.

The more i see your face the more i regret being such a good friend. Well....was a good friend.

People suck jigunda hairy balls. I think u should all go to hell. The more people try to talk to me, the more alone i feel cause i kno its all bull shit.

Well dunno wat else to say....aiight then peace.

Current Mood: irritated

hey wats fukin poppin niggaz and bitches. imma let cha kno how ma weekend went. Friday i hung out wit Jeremy, Yesterday me and My One and only bestfriend went to gardner to fight some fukin white bitches. I fucked one up wit a wooden bat and we had the cops followin us, then we got into a car accident and on top of dat I got a big azz bump on ma forhead. Then i hung out wit jeremy and blazed a fat azz L. Today i hung out wit jeremy and went to brendas house and chilled. Oh i guess on friday i got piss drunk and jeremy said he asked me out and i said yes which i dont even rememba. So now i guess i gotz a man which i dont really want him as my man. I want him as a guy to kick it wit. But now im stuck wit him. so far its aiight tho. I'll let ya kno how it goes aiight then peace.

Current Mood: Just Chillin

It's kinda funny how when people think they finally have that special friend they turn out to be stupid azzez. You wanna kno wat I think... Fuk you and every body else cause I dont need nobody but me, cause Im my only friend,Imma take me places. I feel a lil lonely but I'll be aiight.Imma bounce back cause Im made like dat. Like I said Fuck you.

Current Mood: Madd heated and frustrated

yo, wat da dealy and poppin. U done caught up wit me, which i havent updated in a while. Alls i can say is im doin me. I got rid of my burden, even tho i still love him. But he was holdin me down from doin wat i wanna do ya kno. My modelin career is off da charts right now. I have a photo shoot comin up in may and i have a small tour in puerto rico this summa. but i need to get a portfolio done by my baby gurl. I was kickin it wit some dude who i found out had a gf which sucked, i got my job back at aeropostale, and now im startin to get to kno dis really nice guy. Lets see where dat takes me. What can i say, pimpin aint easy.

Jess keep ur head up, u kno i gotz luv 4 you

aiight den peace

Current Mood: chillin, pimpin, and blazed

I stayed home from skool today because my legs and my back are hurtin mad bad,cause i had a performance at skool yesterday. And my momma is all heated at me and she wont let me talk to my man. i haven't talked to him since 11:30 dis mornin. And i dunno if imma be able to talk to him. when i don't talk to him i feel alone and extremely sad. She'll prolly let me talk to him lata tho hopefully. Imma blaze a L Ski so im outskies.


WUN

Current Mood: Sad amd Sore

My forehead drips blood down my face because of her. And i dont kno why. My head hurts. I wanna be alone right now.I need to relax b 4 i start doin stupid shit again.

Love,
Wishin to fall asleep and not wake up

Current Mood: wanna do suttin stupid

Well...r ya ready to read bout 1 of da most horriblest days of my life. Like i said b 4,i found out dat my father which i neva met has aids. And we found out today dat my fave aunt who's also my best friend started injectin herself wit sum serious shyt and is doin all kinds of drugs. She gave up her two daughters to her ex-man and she wants nuttin to do wit em n e more. Now we think dat she has a disease and is sellin herself for drugs. My cuzins(who she gave up)are stayin wit a dude dat dont kno shyt bout kids and who molested one of em. I dont want em to go thru dat cause they're only 12 and 7 and i kno wat dats like. And my mom has me as her own slave. I cant even talk to her wit out her yellin or beatin me. She has me doin all of her work and takin care of my baby bro all day and night knowin dat im madd sick and dat i have an ear infection.Last night i took care of him all night just cause he wouldn't let het sleep. So i had to lose sleep. I really do feel alone. I lost all my friends already and now im losin my family little by little. Why do bad things happen to good people? Can n e 1 answer dat for me?

Current Mood: lonely, depressed and lost

I'm fukin bored as hell. I'm noticing little by little how ignorant some people are. I feel like me and my fionce are gonna get into an argument today. And dat sux cause we always end up gettin into fist fights when we argue. I have alot of hatred in me and I'm still tryin to figure out why. And I now have a big problem dat i cant do nuttin bout. But I'm tryin really hard to but i just can't stop it. I think i need some serious help. And on top off all of dat, i found out dat, my father who i have never met is diein and dat sux cause im afraid dat im not goin to get to meet him b4 he dies. I dunno wat to do.

Current Mood: extremely sad and depressed

Oh by da way....da only thin dat made me madd happy was my fionce.Heas a poem that i wrote fo him and i want ya to lemme kno wat cha think.


I think about you constantly,
While i'm in my sleep.
How I care about you so much,
And how i've fallen so deep.
You are the one,
Who turns my dark world into light.
And when i am with you,
I just know that it's right.
When we are together,
You show me so much love.
I feel as though i am going to float away,
To the heavens above.
I love you so much,
And i never want these feelings to fade away,
And in your arms and heart,
Is where forever,is where forever i want to stay.

Te amp much mi amor, mi vida, y mi corazon

Current Mood: Grateful to have my fionce

Today started off aiight but then i was tryin to give some one a reality check and suttin crawled up their ass and i realized that dis person just wanted to be on check. But its aiight tho cause like i said ur gonna miss me. I done told u b 4 not to do wat u did today and guess wat...u ended up doin it again. But its aiight tho. And dont even try to have people feel sorry for u cause u kno ur da one who is wrong. Buh bye

Current Mood: aggravated

I'm a lonely individual. People say they are thea but its not da same n e more. You get me mad just by your 2 faceness. Your my friend one minute and da next u dont even rememba dat i exist. But its aiight tho......ill bounce back and ur gonna miss me. Dont even try comin back cause it just aint happenin n e more.

Current Mood: bothered

i just love how are relationship is fading away and da trust aint thea either. i'm just not gonna botha n e more. chasin afta u when i neva had to...now u dont even have n e thing to say. but its aiight tho cause if u aint wit me, u against me aiight. Keep dat in mind.

Current Mood: calm

I am so excited. I cant wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow is my hubby's b-day. I bought him cologne, i'm paying for him to get his second whole on both ears and then i'm taking him out to lunch. I am very excited but then again i feel really depressed today and i dont know why. I feel very empty and sad. I'm all messed up. Maybe i'm goin insane.

Current Mood: confused

i went to ny on x-mas day. I just came back like an hour ago. I went shoppin....got ma nails done and i really didnt get to talk to my bookie boo dat much but its aiight. We are gonna get to spend alot of tyme togetha dis vaca thank god!I am so excited to be back because i kno dat im gonna be nearer to my lub. And i dont have to worry about him as much.


He wanted me to tell all of you that he loves me very much and if any nigga wants to step to he'll break their face.

Isnt he so sweet!
(lol)

But yea jess hop u havin a good vaca!

Current Mood: blah

I am havin da worst fukin day. It started off aiight, i got laid 4 times from 11:30 till 3:00 and then i went home wit my home gull crystal. I go to a leominster high b-ball game wit her and we had to wait an hour and a half in da rain running around leominster(which i dont kno where nuttin is)and it was foggy and dark as hell. We finally caught a cab and me and her almost got kidnapped....i get home and me and my man got into da biggest argument. Then on top of dat my momma beat da shyt out of me cause she is stressed out bout x-mas. It happens every year. I got a huge bump on the back of my head. I got a black eye and i started bleeding from my eyebrow ring cause she decided to bash my face against da wall. I dunno wat to do. I dont know what to think anymore. Why doesnt she just finish the job off? I really hate my lyfe. I dont understand how she says she loves me and then she decides to do some shit like dis. Well i am proud of her cause it's been a while since shes done it.I guess ill just have to put up with it untill i move outta da house....and i guess imma have to spend x-mas with a black eye, a swollen lip, a swollen eye brow, and a huge ass bump on da back of my head. But oh well, maybe when i give her her x-mas present she will stop beatin on me for no reason.

<~~~~~~praying to god


love always.....wishin to be gone

Current Mood: Wishin to be gone

BY THE WAY I HAVE RED HAIR THANX TO JESSICA.....My mom says i look like a punk rock porn star lol and my uncle says i look too white. Dats all ur fault lol. Early.....wun

Current Mood: Something new